Tarzan 1999 Aired on ABC (December 31, 2005-January 1, 2006) Part 1
(They pull into a rather seedy-looking presentation called Lester's Possum Park and stop) * Goofy: Gosh! It's even better than I remembered! * (Cut to a mother attempting to drag her daughter through the entrance to the park, which resembles the mouth of a possum) * Girl: No! Mummy! I don't want to go! * Max: (unenthused) Yes, fun! Warn you what: I'm just gonna wait here in the car. * Goofy: You party pooper! C'mon! This is gonna be fun! * (Cut to the interior of a small old theater) * Old Possum: Howdy there, folks. Lester's is proud to present the Possum Posse Jamboree. Here it is. * (Several patrons clap for the show as Goofy and Max enter) * Goofy: Oh, good! We're just in time! * (The curtain opens and shows four holes in the ground. Out of one of the holes comes a mechanical possum which has obviously seen better days) * Lester: Howdy, folks! Who's your favorite possum? * (Several patrons shout Lester's name) * Goofy: I have us a seat right up front! * Lester: Let me introduce you to the posse! There's Buford, Beulah and Mordecai! * (Each bursts out of a hole. Mordecai has a horrible electrical short) * Mordecai: Hey, Lester, ready for yodeling? * Lester: Sure am, Buford. (sings) Now gather around, my possum pals, and join the jamboree. Come hoot and howl and holler from the heart! * Max: (speaking) This is pathetic! * Lester: (singing) And every chicken, pig and goat'll help by yelping out a yodel here at Lester's Possum Park! (speaking) Join in, folks! It's yodeling time! * (Many patrons join in in the yodeling, including Goofy. Max just looks disgusted) * Lester: (singing) Lester's Possum Park. * (Max is getting more and more disgusted at the show) * Lester: (singing) Well, don't you want to be, a-hanging from the tree? We're mighty glad to see you and the parking's always free! (he begins to break down in tears) Here at Lester's Po-Po-Po- * (The old possum thumps the side of the stage) * Lester: (singing) Possum Park! * (Goofy is catching this all on video. Then he sees a souvenir stand and gets an idea) * Goofy: Hey! That's the ticket! I'll be right back, my little possum pal! * Max: My life's a living..... * Lester: Hello, little buddy! * (A man in a Lester possum costume comes up to Max. Max turns his back on him and tries to ignore him. Lester comes around to Max's front) * Lester: Who's your favorite possum? * Max: Don't hurt me! * Lester: Aw, why such a long face? You're so mournful! Boo-hoo-hoo! I know! You need a big hug from Lester! * Max: Don't even think about...... * Lester: (gives Max a giant hug) Did you see that? Now you feel all good inside! * Max: (slaps Lester, which turns his false head backwards) Beat this, Doofus! * (Lester staggers off, unable to see where he is going. He is knocked down and dragged off by several children) * Max: Oh, dear! No, Dad! Not that! Not that! Please, wait! * Goofy: (comes back, wearing a dead possum hat and puts one on Max) Here you go, sport! Let's see we get our picture taken! * (Cut to a little girl weeping while her picture is taken) * Max: You have had to be joking. * Goofy: Oh, alright, but you're missing out! * (Soon Max hears a lot of people laughing. Goofy is hanging upside down between two possums to get his picture taken) * Goofy: Hiya, daughter! * Child: Hey, everyone! Check out the dork! * Photographer: Say, "sassafras". * Goofy: Sassyfrass! * (The branch breaks and Goofy falls to the ground. This sends one of the possums hurdling toward Max and this hits him in the face. Then the possum crawls down Max's sweatshirt. Max begins to jump around in an attempt to get at the possum. A couple of musicians start playing country music, mistaking Max's gyrations for an attempt to dance. Goofy sees Max just as Max manages to get the possum out of his pants) * Goofy: That's the spirit, Maxie! (he grabs Max and starts dancing with him) * Max: No, don't, Dad! This is embarrassing! * Goofy: (eventually finished the dance with Max on his knee) Ta-da! Hyuck! * Child: It's Dork and Dork Junior! * (Max listens to everyone laughing at him and his dad, takes the hat off his head, throws it to the ground and fights his fashion out of the crowd. He goes to the car, only to find it's locked. He pounds his fists on the door just as it starts to rain. He walks to the highway and starts hitchhiking. A passing car sprays him with water, but he continues to hitchhike. Goofy comes out) * Goofy: Max! Hey, what the heck are you trying to do? * Max: Trying to get away with you! (he leaves the highway and goes back to the car) * Goofy: From me? What'd I do? * Max: Forget this! * Goofy: I thought we was having fun. What's the matter? * Max: Nothing. Let's just go. C'mon! * (Goofy mournfully unlocks the door and Max gets in. Goofy goes around and gets in as well. Then he hands Max the hat that he threw away) * Goofy: Oh, you dropped your hat. (Max blows up, rolls down the window and throws the hat away again) * Max: This is the stupidest vacation! You drag me from home, you jam me in this dumb car and drive a million miles away to see some stupid rat show!! Call me if the trip's over! * (Goofy mournfully starts the car and drives off)